Change

Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change. - Jim Rohn

I could write a million quotes here, but the point is... my life isn't going to change on its own.  I won't be happier, I won't be less fat, I won't be smarter, I won't be more financially stable, if I don't make some changes.  

Weight Watchers is a big supporter of small changes, and you know what?  You make enough small changes, and pretty soon you've lost 13.8 pounds.  You find yourself smiling more.  You find yourself annoyed by that "friend" who is constantly bitching about something.  You find yourself resisting a day at the outlets, because you need to save that money (and besides - it won't fit for long anyway!).  You find yourself seeking out professional development books that will stretch your mind.  You find yourself coping with emotions without stuffing your face full of food.  You find yourself trying new foods (avocados, eggplant, and grilled chicken in my salad - all in one week).  You find yourself craving fruit (I know, right?!).  You find yourself shopping the outer aisles of the grocery store.  

This week at WW we talked about the angel and the devil who sit on your shoulders.  We discussed how the devil is always louder, and we talked about ways to turn up the volume on the angel.  Our leader asked us what our devil says, I responded with "You're not worth it." (They probably all think I am some suicidal, abused wife.)  People are always amazed to learn that I am not a very confident person and that I am an introvert.  I put on a good face and appear confident, but anyone who really knows me, knows how truly insecure I am.  And anyone who really knows me, knows that it takes a lot of emotional energy on my part to be social with large groups of people, I find it exhausting.  And maybe what it really boils down to is that before recently, I didn't see my life as "worthy".  I was just me, taking care of myself, doing my own thing.  But when I think about, I'm really much more than that.  I take care of children, my friends, my co-workers, ,my family.  And dammit - I deserve to take care of myself too!  

So all you negative Nelly's who have spent years keeping me confined to a certain persona... stand back.  And be wowed.  And to those of you who have been telling me all these things all along - thanks for being patient!  And to myself - damn, girl, took ya long enough!     

I had... I hadn't

I hadn't been to a meeting in 2 weeks
I had been on a road trip to visit one of my best friends
I had helped drink 3 bottles of wine
I hadn't been walking with Adrienne
I had been counting points (except after I lost count of the glasses of wine)

And I still managed to lose 3 pounds... for a grand total of 10.6

We talk a lot about little changes at WW and they do work.  For instance, I love my taco dip - so I made it, and dipped cauliflower in it instead of tortilla chips.  I ordered sweet potato fries instead of regular fries, I shop mostly the perimeter of the grocery store.  I actually look at the portion size on food.  I make sugar free jell-o.  I eat a piece of fruit when I want something sweet.  I drink water when I am having a craving to see if I can make it pass.

I am too tired to be overly excited, but still 10 pounds is pretty cool.  And definitely motivating.  

Easily frustrated

I didn't write after last weeks meeting simply because I was frustrated.  I only lost a pound.  And yes, I know that is totally the exact amount (1 -2 lbs a week) that WW expects you to lose each week, but I was disappointed.  I was hoping for another decent sized loss - at least 3 pounds.  But it didn't happen.  In all fairness, I didn't work very hard at it either.  My parents were here and it was my birthday.  I did make some sacrifices, no seafood pasta at Dockside, only half of a piece of their amazing corn bread, only a tiny piece of Litty's cake that traveled all the way from Ohio.  So I did make some sacrifices... but I didn't go above and beyond.  My fruit and veggie intake was very limited, as were the other powerful foods.

A couple things this past week taught me:
1) My mom doesn't trust me yet, and I completely agree.  When they left early Monday morning, she smashed the remainder of the Litty's cake so that wasn't edible... I get it Mom, good choice.
2) Pickles, Franks Hot Wing Sauce and Sugar Free Jell-o are 0 points!  Woo-hoo!
3) Fruits and veggies are very important!
4) I may finally, truly, be ready to tackle this issue.  My normal response to the disappointment of only losing a pound would have been to run to Chick-fil-A and indulge in a giant milkshake.  But I didn't and for that I high-fived myself!  (Mostly it was due to the look the gentleman gave me when I jokingly said that's where I was headed!)
5) Trying new things wont kill me!  I tried making banana/oatmeal chocolate chip cookies - and they are decent.  I mean, they don't hold a candle to my mom's homemade chocolate chip cookie dough, but they are good - and much healthier!  1 point for 2 teeny tiny cookies that hardly taste like bananas at all is a good trade for choking down a nasty, mushy, stringy nanner.
6) Also, something totally unrelated to weight loss - I have some ex-boyfriends who are COMPLETELY insane... one I always knew was and one that is hell bent of proving it!  (like I said, totally unrelated, but glad those psychos aren't my problem).  I have my crazy dog to take care of, can't take care of crazy men (all the more proof of my dad's once astute observation - "You make bad choices concerning anything with a penis." True, so very true.

At our meeting this week we were asked to commit to making one small change - originally I picked eating breakfast.  But after more reflection, I decided to commit to eating fruits at every meal, and veggies at lunch and dinner (I'm sorry, unless it's tomatoes, I cannot choke down veggies first thing in the morning!).  So far, I have held strong.  I am anxious to see how this week goes with Summer Institute, having to pack a lunch that I can keep in a refrigerator or heat up in a microwave... going to to have to put some serious thought into my choices for each day.

Anywho, fingers crossed that some more intensive focus on food choices will result in a decent loss this week.  Technically 1.6 would put me at the 10 lb mark, but I few more and I would reach an even bigger milestone!

Ta-Ta for now!

PS - Aren't my parents the best - smashing cake, and calling out my bad choices in relationships - God love them... I don't think you know how awesome that is!  Really.  My parents are top notch.  I am glad I picked them to get to raise this bundle of awesomeness :)

Week 1 = Success

I officially started Weight Watchers Sunday.  In that time, I have had some delicious peaches, a really good breakfast pizza,  and a yummy fruit and cheese "danish".  I also had some great shrimp stir-fry, some great smoothies, and some pasta that was good, but needs more flavor!  I have not once felt hungry or tempted to eat something I shouldn't.  And it has paid off.  I lost 7.4 pounds this week!  BAM!

Huge thanks to Amy for introducing me to Moe's tonight - that's a first for me.  I had the "earmuff"  (who came up with that name?) rice bowl.  Very yummy!  Will be having that again soon!!  

Also, let me just say - I have some amazing friends in my corner, and if it weren't for them or you, (because let's be honest, who else is reading this?!) I would have given up before I started.  So thank you for being kind and supportive.  You have no idea how much it means to me!

WW Recipes that were a hit this week:

Breakfast pizza - Light English muffin, scrambled egg, tomato slice, shredded cheese under the broiler until the cheese melts

Fruit and Cheese Danish - Light English muffin (or other light bread), spread low fat ricotta cheese and add blueberries.  Place under the broiler until the blueberries start to pop.  Add a sugar substitute and cinnamon if you wish!

  

Here we go again...

So, going to the gym and following the biggest loser plan worked for a few months.  Training for a half marathon worked for a few weeks (which by the way, my friends did not succeed in killing me, although it was touch and go for awhile).  And like all good things, they came to an end.  For the last 13 months I have dealt with my wonky eye and spent most of the summer of 2013 in bed attempting to keep my retina attached (I know - you're jealous!).  I have succeeded in gaining a few pounds, but also mysteriously shifting weight to different areas of my body.  Then I saw a picture from my friend's baby shower.  I thought I looked pretty great that day - until I saw the picture.  HOLY HEIFER!!  Really, someone should have told me how huge I was.  So that was March, here it is July and I have since seen several pictures of myself with the same reaction - as the joke was in high school when I was the field commander "Where's the field?"  At the end of the school year, a co-worker walked into a faculty gathering and said "Every time I come in here you're eating!"  Granted, so was everyone else in the room - we were having a staff breakfast, but still, it stung!  So... here we are again!

My friend mentioned that she was going to start Weight Watchers and I was apparently drunk and told her I wanted to do it too!  So here I am... Heifer Healers (no, really, that's pretty catchy) Weight Watchers.  If you want to take bets on how long this lasts, feel free - I wouldn't blame you.  I think this time I am going to focus more on the changing of habits instead of the changing of numbers.  I have to do something - I look like a busted can of biscuits regardless of what I am wearing... not cool.  So, I shall try this.  Like I said, focus on truly changing my habits and letting the reward of that be changing my pants size.  

Only time will tell.  I officially started on July 20 and I will have my meeting on the 24th for a one week weigh in.  

Current status - ugh, even I am repulsed by me!

My friends...

So I have these friends... I have lots of friends.  I have friends who make me think, I have friends who make me laugh, I have friends who will be there in the middle of the night, I have friends that I love to eat and chat with, and I have friends that want to kill me.  Yes, you read that right, they want to kill me.  Their original attempt to kill me was suggesting that I run a 5k.  The plan was complete with statements like "You can do this!"  "Its only 3 miles!!" "You will do great!" and my favorite "There are no hills!!"  They were right, I could do it, I did do it.  I have done 2 5k's - improving my time on the second one.  But they were also wrong - there was a hill - and when I encountered it - I cursed them!!  But I digress - their plan failed - they didn't kill me. 

So now they have this new plan - a half marathon.  Pregnant friend started it - saying that she will probably walk most of it, due to the fact that she is growing a fetus!  Skinny/young friend supported Pregnant friend, and far-away friend said "If I can do it with no training, you can get ready in 3 months".  Smiley friend of course thinks this a great idea.  So... the first weekend in February - if all goes according to plan, I will once again foil my friends plans to kill me.  I will successfully cross the finish line of the half marathon at New Orleans Rock n Roll. 

Let this be said now - If I finish (without riding on the sag wagon and within the 4 hour timeline) I will wear my medal for a week straight and I will probably change my voicemail greeting to "Hi, you've reached Torey - the half marathoner." And I will also become one of those obnoxious people who bring it up all the time. 

So friends, this is my new challenge.  Obviously, I am hoping with daily cardio mixed with some strength training, I will also lose weight in the process - which will be an added bonus to my new bling!  Feel free to harass me via text, email or Facebook (some support would be helpful too!)  

My Haters are my Motivators

A little Ellen DeGeneres to get this started.  I love Ellen.  She is so wise.  Excpet, sometimes my haters really get me down.  Over-hearing someone say "Man, has she put on weight." or hearing a friend refer to me as a "big girl" really set me back.  I am a big girl.  I have a big butt, big hoo-has, big "hoppy and bobs" (thats the arm fat that waves when you wave), but I also have a big personality, big spirit and a big determination!  I let them get my down for a minute - but I am coming back! 

I am a bit of a perfectionist, and feel that if I cant get to the gym everyday, I just shouldnt go at all.  I also am the type of person who gives 100% to everything I do.  Grad school and work have been kicking my tail - lots of work happening here, even if it isnt at the gym.  100% to work, 100% to school, 100% to my friends and family, 100% to my house... man, its a good thing I am a "big girl" thats 500%!!!  Its also exhausting!  I can recently be quoted as saying "If being fat is the worst thing about me, so be it!"  But really, I dont want to be fat - I want to be healthy and I want my outside to match my inside!

With the return of my dear friend Sarah to Beaufort, I have returned to sweating my keester off!!  On Saturday, Sarah and I walked the McTeer Bridge, included some lunges and squats and then did an ab workout!  I really did not think that bridge would be that bad - holy cow!  Sunday - I could barely move.  (But I did manage to put on a pair of heels for a wonderful, sorta healthy dinner at the new Dockside.)  This morning I got up and walked on the beach and did some school work.  And this evening, Sarah and I walked the bridge again tonight.  Adding more lunges and squats as well as some push-ups!  (Those hater/motivators who feel the need to honk and yell - thanks for admitting that you are jealous of our drive to be healthier people!)  Tomorrow, 3 circuits at the gym and then a walk while babysitting. 

Why in the world would I let people who dont know me and have negative things to say about me outweigh (pun intended) my awesome friends who really know me?  My friends who remind me of whats important to me, who emotionally support and encourage me to keep going, who remind me of my original goals and dreams and my friends who literally get me out and moving - they are all awesome!  I am truly so blessed to have amazing people in my life and I owe it to them to live up to their expectations and I owe it to myself to trust them and to allow them to motivate me instead of strangers bring me down! 

Eventually, I will wear smaller pants and be a thinner version of me - to the point where when people say "big girl" they are referring to my personality, not my body!!