My Haters are my Motivators

A little Ellen DeGeneres to get this started.  I love Ellen.  She is so wise.  Excpet, sometimes my haters really get me down.  Over-hearing someone say "Man, has she put on weight." or hearing a friend refer to me as a "big girl" really set me back.  I am a big girl.  I have a big butt, big hoo-has, big "hoppy and bobs" (thats the arm fat that waves when you wave), but I also have a big personality, big spirit and a big determination!  I let them get my down for a minute - but I am coming back! 

I am a bit of a perfectionist, and feel that if I cant get to the gym everyday, I just shouldnt go at all.  I also am the type of person who gives 100% to everything I do.  Grad school and work have been kicking my tail - lots of work happening here, even if it isnt at the gym.  100% to work, 100% to school, 100% to my friends and family, 100% to my house... man, its a good thing I am a "big girl" thats 500%!!!  Its also exhausting!  I can recently be quoted as saying "If being fat is the worst thing about me, so be it!"  But really, I dont want to be fat - I want to be healthy and I want my outside to match my inside!

With the return of my dear friend Sarah to Beaufort, I have returned to sweating my keester off!!  On Saturday, Sarah and I walked the McTeer Bridge, included some lunges and squats and then did an ab workout!  I really did not think that bridge would be that bad - holy cow!  Sunday - I could barely move.  (But I did manage to put on a pair of heels for a wonderful, sorta healthy dinner at the new Dockside.)  This morning I got up and walked on the beach and did some school work.  And this evening, Sarah and I walked the bridge again tonight.  Adding more lunges and squats as well as some push-ups!  (Those hater/motivators who feel the need to honk and yell - thanks for admitting that you are jealous of our drive to be healthier people!)  Tomorrow, 3 circuits at the gym and then a walk while babysitting. 

Why in the world would I let people who dont know me and have negative things to say about me outweigh (pun intended) my awesome friends who really know me?  My friends who remind me of whats important to me, who emotionally support and encourage me to keep going, who remind me of my original goals and dreams and my friends who literally get me out and moving - they are all awesome!  I am truly so blessed to have amazing people in my life and I owe it to them to live up to their expectations and I owe it to myself to trust them and to allow them to motivate me instead of strangers bring me down! 

Eventually, I will wear smaller pants and be a thinner version of me - to the point where when people say "big girl" they are referring to my personality, not my body!!

Screeeeech, Slam, ZZZZZ

Did you hear that? 
Yeah, that was my progress coming to a screeching halt! 
My motivation slamming into a brick wall!
My lazy butt being a bum.

These last 2 weeks have not been pretty.  I lost all of my motivation to go to the gym, didnt really feel all that well, had myself a week long pity party and was crazy busy with work and school.  I have eaten things that remind me of old fat me (lots of bread, cheese and excessive amounts of everything else). 

Things that I have learned from this -  its never going to be easy (I will probably fight this all of my life) and I enjoy being healthier and working out.  So this week I reclaim my motivation and drive.  I have my next 30 day weigh in and measure on February 1st - EEEEK!!  Less than 2 weeks to get busy! 

I need to learn to prioritize.  Sleep has always been really important to me, but I may have to give up an hour of sleep in order to get to the gym and get everything else done.  So be it.  I found a little bit of motivation when I was able to fit into a size smaller pants.  I also am finding motivation in being miserable without going to the gym. 

So, the next time you see me tell me to get my butt in gear, or text me, or put it on my facebook page, whatever.  If you hold me accountable, perhaps eventually I will learn to hold myself accountable!

Stats

So I had my 3rd session with my trainer and boy was it a joy!  No, really!  Other than the pain, the inability to breath and the constant fear of falling off of one apparatus or the other it really is a good time! 

But also today was my 30 day weigh in and measure...eek!  Well folks... judge for yourself!
lost:
21 lbs
2.1% body fat
1.5 inches off my chest
3 inches off of my waist
6 inches off of my thighs (which is why my pants keep falling down)
.5+ off of my thighs
2inches off of each arm

Current status - 21 lbs and 15.5 inches less rolly poly!!!  

Yikes!

I made an appointment with my trainer for tomorrow...and even worse than that is that I have to be weighed and measured tomorrow.  I am very nervous and anxious and scared and nervous and apprehensive.  I will update tomorrow (as long as it isnt horrible). 

That is all.  (Oh, send me some fat shedding vibes if you can! - that is all!)